Tuesday, June 23, 2009

perfect motivation


this has been on my mind a lot lately because i have been (hmmm... what's a nice way to say this? well... i'll go with) UNmotivated. yeah, slug would probably fit better, but i'm being kind to myself. i have not gotten much done. i have no ambition. i am unorganized. i have not wanted to clean. or cook. or even spend time on my hobbies. *sigh* can you relate?

it is bugging me. A LOT.

i don't know what my problem is. actually, i do, but i haven't wanted to examine the reason too closely. do i have a lot going on? sure. but no more than anyone else. being busy is a part of life. am i bored? no, not really. am i just 'lazy'? ouch! i hope that is not it. :)

oh, wait... am i waiting for everything to be perfect? yep, that might be it! perfectionism is debilitating. it is stopping me from enjoying time with my children; it is stopping me from getting things around the house accomplished. it is stopping me from even starting.

i am exposing myself and sharing this with you because it has got to stop. i need some motivation. i want to get things done. i do. i dont want to wait until the 'perfect' time and realize that i have not been a good steward of the time i was given.

i know i should 'just do it'; i can't. i am in a rut. i need some help.

i don't even have any words for you, Lord, but you know the longings of my heart. help me please to find joy in completing my work. give me satisfaction in my chores and motivation to work. thank you Father.

"No one will ever see me quit, because I simply won't. If I start something, I will finish it and do it well." ~Steve Belmarsh

Sunday, June 7, 2009

happy birthday to me!

my birthday is later this month (but really, i consider the whole month mine. lol). here is a list of 31 things that i love/am grateful for/appreciate/make me happy for the (almost) 31 years i've lived:

1. worshipping my God and Creator
2. paul
3. evan and ryan
4. my extended family
5. my new wedding ring that i am not allergic to :D

6. all things summer - strawberry shortcake, lemonade, picking fresh fruit like watermelon and raspberries, making s'mores, camping, reading while on a boat, the smell of lilacs and cut grass, butterflies, the sun, clothes air drying on the line, bare feet, going to baseball games
7. facebook
8. my nickname from college, minie
9. when my children crawl into my bed in the morning and want to snuggle, even though they are getting older
10. knowing that there is eternal life in heaven! praise God for that!
11. the memories I can share with my children of my parents and grandparents, and the boys getting to spend time with them to create memories of their own
12. taking 'olde time' photos
13. stone churches with tall stained-glass windows; cast iron bathtubs on hardwood floors
14. going to lowe's to look at paint chips
15. the pleasure of singing a lullaby to my kids to calm them down and/or put them to sleep - evan's is "amazing grace" and ryan's is "as the deer"
16. skiing (although i never get to go anymore, i still love it), especially on days the pine trees are covered with ice
17. big bulky warm sweaters
18. fireplaces
19. my life verse (proverbs 31:30) - charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
20. comedians from 'blue collar radio' that make me laugh
21. my computer
22. grease 2, the notebook, steel magnolias
23. the vastness of the universe (and knowing that God was the very first scientist)

24. the immeasurable awe of having a Savior who not only hears my prayers but answers them
25. ruth chris steakhouse
26. sleepytime tea
27. eating warm chocolate chip cookies with milk right before bed
28. dancing to music from the 80s and 90s... you know: baby got back, cotton-eyed joe, funky cold medina, thriller, vanilla ice, etc :p
29. having a husband who is my very best friend and hanging out with him
30. friends the Lord has brought across my path
31. honeysuckle bushes

and a bonus couple, just because: richard marx, sauerkraut, books about dragons and vinegar-based cleaning supplies. :) have a great june everyone!
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